Never is a Promise
by samuraiheart
Summary: *Shounen-ai* Watari comforts Tsuzuki after some disturbing thoughts under the cherry blossoms. Thanks for all of the reviews ^_^


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Never is a Promise   
by samuraiheart   
  
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Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is the property of Matsushita Yoko and the title is inspired by the Fiona Apple song although the fic doesn't really have anything to do with the lyrics.   
  
Warning: This is more WatarixTsuzuki sap with angst! There is shounen-ai only if you want there to be.   
  
I'm not really sure when in the time line this takes place, but I was thinking maybe right after the Demon's Trill stuff?   
  
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Tsuzuki sat beneath the ever-blossoming cherry trees of Meifu and sighed wearily as the petals floated down around him. He was tired. It wasn't something physical that could be cured by sleep or a long vacation. It was something deeper than that. He was tired of the feelings that welled up inside him sometimes and overwhelmed him with sadness and pain. He was tired of the guilt and the hurt. He was tired of existing. He let out a deep breath and brought his hand up to push back the unruly bangs that fell across his vision. It was late and someone was surely worried about him. He didn't want to cause any trouble. He should probably get back.   
  
"Tsuzuki?" A warm voice called hesitantly from behind him and the words floated on the breeze.   
  
Tsuzuki turned his head and smiled at the site of Watari coming towards him. The blonde scientist smiled back and his eyes lit up with that light that always seemed to shine somewhere in his expression. The wide grin vanished for a moment and was replaced with a slight frown and a look of concern. "Are you okay, Tsuzuki?"   
  
Tsuzuki's lips parted as if to answer, but no sound came. He hesitated for just a moment before pushing the disturbing thoughts to the back of his mind and dismissing Watari's concern with a wave of his hand. Tsuzuki shook his head and his lips curved up into a smile, but he did not meet Watari's gaze. "I'm fine, Watari. Don't worry about me." His voice faltered slightly as if he didn't quite believe it himself.   
  
Watari nodded resolutely and sat down beside Tsuzuki on the grass. It was clear that his friend was still upset, but he also knew that Tsuzuki would refuse any help that he offered. Watari reached into the pocket of his white lab coat and pulled out a small box of chocolates. The round foil-covered container shimmered in the sunlight. He held them out to his friend and smiled as he took off the lid to reveal the sweets beneath.   
  
"For me?" Tsuzuki asked in disbelief. His eyes widened as Watari nodded and the scientist couldn't help but grin as Tsuzuki dove into the treats without hesitation. He ate the chocolates one by one and enjoyed the sweet flavor of each one savoring the creamy centers and gooey fillings. After swallowing the last piece, the shinigami licked his sticky fingers to get every last bit of the confection. After a moment, he realized that Watari was staring at him. The blonde shinigami sat patiently beside him with an expectant look in his eyes. Tsuzuki looked up sheepishly a faint blush painting his pale cheeks. "Sorry, did you want one?"   
  
Watari shook his head and chuckled slightly. He set the empty box of chocolates aside and brushed his bangs away from his face. The long strands of hair fell on either side of his gaze and accented the shimmer of gold in his deep brown eyes.   
  
Tsuzuki brought his hands up to his mouth and his violet eyes widened once again. "You didn't... I mean... these weren't..." Thoughts of strange experiments and possible outcomes danced through his head as he swallowed thickly and wondered if Watari had some ulterior motive for giving him the chocolates. Hadn't Tatsumi warned him that Watari liked to use his friends as guinea pigs?   
  
"Don't worry, Tsuzuki. I just had some extra chocolates lying around and you looked like you could use a little cheering up." A small smile graced Watari's lips as the panic left Tsuzuki's gaze and he sighed in relief.   
  
Tsuzuki bent his head and looked down at his hands folded calmly in his lap. "Thank you, Watari." He whispered softly. The words held such sincerity that Watari felt his heartbeat quicken and he bit his lip in anticipation.   
  
The two shinigami sat in silence for a few moments. The wind swirled about them in a gentle breeze that blew Watari's long golden hair away from his face and over his shoulders. The scientist pushed his glasses up towards the bridge of his nose and looked over at Tsuzuki quizzically. The other shinigami still had his head bent slightly forward and he couldn't hide the pained look that flitted across his features.   
  
"It didn't help did it?" Watari asked softly. The quiet question seemed strange coming from Watari's lips. It held a hint of sadness that Tsuzuki had never associated with his friend.   
  
Tsuzuki lifted his gaze toward Watari and raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"   
  
"The chocolates. They didn't help. I was just trying to make you happy. I wanted to erase the sadness from your eyes-" Watari reached out cautiously and placed a delicate hand under Tsuzuki's chin. He lifted the other's face until their eyes met - deep violet orbs met his gaze for just a moment before Tsuzuki pulled away from the touch and closed his eyes. "But it's still there. I guess it always has been."   
  
Tsuzuki turned back to his friend and seemed to have regained some of his composure. He forced a smile and tried his best to reassure the man sitting beside him. "I don't want you to worry about me, Watari. I don't want to cause you any trouble."   
  
The blonde shinigami smiled at that and shook his head. He hit Tsuzuki on the back of the head playfully and the other shinigami stared back at him in disbelief. "Idiot, I care about you. I can't help it."   
  
"I just wish there was something I could do." Watari said dejectedly. He shrugged his shoulders. With all of his supposed genius and inventions, he couldn't fix something as complex as emotion. He couldn't take away the pain in his friend's heart.   
  
Watari stared straight ahead at some distant point of the landscape, but he didn't really see it. His mind was whirling with wishes and hopes and things that he could never express openly. He wanted more than anything to keep his friend safe from the memories that haunted him. He wished there was something he could do or something he could say that would erase all of the bitter pain from those violet eyes, but he wasn't sure that he had that ability.   
  
His thoughts were interrupted as he felt the warmth of Tsuzuki's head on his shoulder. He was almost afraid to move for fear of disturbing the moment. "Thank you, Watari." Tsuzuki said softly his voice velvety and his warm breath gently caressing Watari's neck. Watari turned toward him and brought one arm up to pull him closer. There was a rustle of clothing as Watari moved to accommodate the other shinigami. He wrapped his arms around his friend in a gentle embrace and rested his chin slightly on Tsuzuki's head. He marveled at the softness of Tsuzuki's hair as it brushed against his neck and collarbone.   
  
"Watari, don't let go." Tsuzuki said suddenly, his voice strained with emotions that he had tried to hold back for too long.   
  
"Never." Watari replied leaning closer to the other man to make sure that he heard. Watari brought one hand up to stroke Tsuzuki's hair as words left unsaid echoed in the silence between them. Now was not the time for confessions or declarations of feelings that neither was sure about. Instead, Watari offered tenderness and compassion to a friend in need and Tsuzuki took the comfort, grateful for someone to rely on if only for a little while.   
  
~Owari~


End file.
